Why Disney Needs New Rules for Jungle Cruise

Jungle Cruise is one of Magic Kingdom‘s most popular attractions and has been since it opened.

It’s an attraction that’s often full of laughter, silly jokes, and animatronic animals. It’s a family-friendly attraction that we don’t miss when we find ourselves in Magic Kingdom, but we have to admit, on our most recent ride, we realized that there are some new rules that we think need to be implemented, and we’re curious to see if you agree!

If You Drop Something, Don’t Even Try to Get It Back

Not only are you out on open water where animals could eat any belongings you drop or hold too far over the boat’s edge, but Trader Sam is the Head Salesman of the jungle. Anything that you lose is fair game to him!

Now, you can always try to buy it back on your next trip, but who knows what kind of markup you’ll wind up paying? Plus, someone may buy your lost item before you get back, so keep all your belongings safely on your person and inside the boat!

A Paper and Pen is Mandatory for Dads

There are some pretty amazing Dad jokes that Skippers try out on the Jungle Cruise, which means that for any Dads on board, you need a paper and pen to write them down!

Then, you can pull these jokes out at home and remind your whole family of your wonderful trip. You can’t lose!

Everyone Must Laugh at Each Joke

These Skippers work hard, and it’s time we showed them just how much we love and appreciate them! So we propose that everyone in the boat must laugh at EVERY joke, no matter how bad it is.

It’ll boost the Skippers’ confidence, and we think that’s worth a few forced laughs. Just be sure not to overdo it — then they might know they’re fake, and we can’t have that!

NO Bottling Up the Backside of Water

We know the 8th wonder of the world is tempting, but we think it’s time to put our foot down — there’s NO bottling the backside of water to bring some home with you!

Plus, have you seen those hippos? How anyone has the courage to dip their hands in that water is beyond us. Choose another souvenir to bring home with you (if you make it home, of course), like a leaf that falls into the boat! Much safer, especially if there’s a rare insect on it.

Eye Stretches in The Queue Are a Must

Listen, we know we said you need to laugh at every joke, but we also understand that some of the jokes are so silly that eye rolls are necessary. So, to avoid eye strain, exercises should be implemented in the queue!

Eye strain is a real issue for many people, so we think this helps to avoid any problems before they start. You’re welcome.

Even if these rules don’t get implemented, we’ll be trying them out on our next few rides, just to see how they go. Be sure to stay tuned to AllEars for all the latest Disney news!