Look, I love a good theme park re-theme as much as the next person, but I need some guarantees here.
Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster is getting a major Muppets makeover coming this summer, and honestly, the concept sounds amazing. The Electric Mayhem taking over a recording studio while fans wait at their concert across town? Chef’s kiss. But before I get too excited, there are a few non-negotiables that absolutely NEED to be part of this attraction.
Rainbow Connection Has to Make an Appearance Somewhere
I don’t care if it’s a full cover, a quick instrumental snippet in the queue, or just Dr. Teeth humming a few bars in the pre-show. Some version of Rainbow Connection needs to exist in this attraction.
It’s literally one of the most iconic Muppets songs of all time, and honestly, if Disney doesn’t include it somewhere, that’s just a missed opportunity. I’m not saying it needs to be the main attraction soundtrack, but give us SOMETHING. Even a quick nod would make the whole experience feel more complete.
The Electric Mayhem Better Cover an Aerosmith Song
Since we’re literally replacing an Aerosmith-themed coaster, it would be criminal not to have the Electric Mayhem do their own wild cover of at least one classic Aerosmith track.
Can you imagine Animal going absolutely feral on the drums during “Walk This Way” or “Sweet Emotion”? The chaos potential alone makes this a requirement. It would be the perfect way to honor the original attraction while making it completely their own. I need this to happen, and I need it to be as gloriously unhinged as possible.
Give Us an Actual Muppets Gift Shop
I want a dedicated Muppets shop at the exit of this ride with exclusive Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster items. We’re talking Electric Mayhem t-shirts, guitar picks with Animal’s face on them, maybe some vinyl records with the attraction’s soundtrack.
Please, don’t just give us a corner of a generic gift shop with three Kermit plushies. Commit to the bit and create a full shopping experience that matches the energy of what we just rode.
Randomized Soundtracks Like Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind
You know what makes Cosmic Rewind so re-rideable? The fact that you never know which song you’re going to get. Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster starring the Muppets needs to steal that playbook immediately. Imagine getting a different Muppets cover or Electric Mayhem original each time you ride.
One trip, you get their take on a classic rock anthem, the next time it’s something completely different. The replay value would be through the roof, and it would give us a reason to keep coming back to experience all the variations.
Statler and Waldorf Need to Roast Us
If Statler and Waldorf aren’t heckling us from their balcony seats at some point during this experience, what are we even doing? These two are comedy gold, and they NEED to be making snarky comments about the whole situation.
Maybe they’re critiquing the band, maybe they’re roasting us for thinking we can make it to the concert on time, but either way, their presence is essential. The Muppets without Statler and Waldorf’s commentary just feels incomplete.
A Holiday Overlay Would Be the Dream
Okay, this one might be wishful thinking, and I know it’s probably not going to happen, but hear me out. A Muppet Christmas Carol holiday overlay for this attraction would be INCREDIBLE.
I’m talking festive decorations, holiday music covers, maybe even some snow effects. Is it practical? Probably not. Will Disney actually do it? Well, a person can dream, right? If they ever decided to test a seasonal overlay, this would be the perfect attraction for it.
The foundation is there, and it sounds legitimately fun. But these additions would take it from good to absolutely legendary. So Disney, if you’re listening, make these happen. My roller coaster fate depends on it.
Until then, stay tuned to AllEars for more on all of Disney’s upcoming attractions.
UPDATE on 2 New Lands Coming to Disney’s Hollywood Studios
What do you think needs to be part of Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster starring the Muppets? Let us know in the comments below.
As someone who gets motion sickness, I can understand people being willing to endure thrill rides for rock and roll, Star Wars, Space Mountain, and riding a Banshee. Among others. But to experience the Muppets should not be one of them……