“Aisle Lice” Are Taking Over Airplanes, and Fellow Passengers Will Not Like You if You Are One

If you’re planning a trip to Disney World, Disneyland, or anywhere else, and are planning to fly, there’s something we REALLY need to talk about.

When you fly, you may already be stressed about getting through security in time to find your gate, making sure it exists, and then grabbing something to eat before your flight. You do not want to be late for your flight. Don’t get us started — we’ve been there and it’s not fun. When boarding starts, you’ve probably seen Gate Lice start to take over the boarding area, making it super chaotic, and your troubles may not stop there. Once you’re on the plane, you may have to deal with Seat Squatters, and then when you land, the worst of all may be Aisle Lice. 

What is Aisle Lice, you ask? This refers to the passengers who treat deplaning like a competitive sport and stand up the moment the seatbelt sign turns off. They snag their bags and make it as FAR up the aisle as they possibly can, no matter how far back they actually are in the place, only to then stand there (just like everyone else) and wait as the rows ahead of them deplane one by one, like how it’s supposed to go.

While the purpose of this behavior is to get further up the plane and get off as soon as possible, the truth is that it actually makes deplaning slower for everyone. People trying to exit in an orderly fashion suddenly find their path blocked by a swarm of aisle lurkers who are inching forward even though the rows ahead of them are still full. This happened to me on my last flight, and it really disrupted the flow of traffic.

9 times out of 10, it’s frustrating, rude, and completely unnecessary, especially when you consider that the majority of these passengers are all about to stand around at baggage claim anyway. However, there’s one big caveat here that we fully understand, which is that if you have a tight connection to make, you should hustle down the aisle as fast as you can. Sometimes, connecting flights take off 20-30 minutes (sometimes even LESS) from when your plane lands, and especially if you’re in a massive airport like Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, MCO Airport in Orlando, or O’Hare International Airport in Chicago. Now, if this is the situation you find yourself in when flying, we highly recommend booking an aisle seat if possible and letting the flight attendants know that you’ve got a tight connection. They might even make an announcement over the intercom and let other passengers know that there are a few people on board who need to get off the plane to catch their next flight. I’ve seen this a few times, and it’s actually worked out pretty well — communication is key!

Now, if this seems familiar, but at the gate, that’s Gate Lice you’re thinking of, which is just as obnoxious, and there’s really no reason for it. We understand the purpose behind it is to hopefully allow your bag to be placed in the overhead bins instead of being checked at the gate due to lack of space, but come on — crowding around the entrance waiting for Zone Six when they haven’t even started boarding yet? That’s a little excessive. Even if you want to stretch your legs and stand before your long flight, we recommend doing it away from the actual gate entrance. Standing around like this just causes more stress for everyone, including those passengers trying to get PAST your gate and onto another one. In fact, some airlines are even cracking down on Gate Lice, so if this is something you’ve done in the past, beware.

Then we’ve got Seat Squatters, which are also supremely obnoxious, because these are the passengers who take a seat they didn’t actually book, hoping the rightful occupant won’t show up or that they’ll get away with it. Sometimes, these individuals are just trying to score a better spot without paying for it. For example, if a window seat looks like it isn’t taken, a Seat Squatter might plop down and pretend it’s theirs, only to act confused when confronted and someone tells them it’s not theirs. Other people will attempt a swap on the spot, expecting the person who actually booked the seat to just go along with it. This can be especially frustrating when someone who clearly booked an aisle or window seat is asked instead to move to a middle seat “as a favor.”

Here’s the thing, y’all — if there are assigned seats on your flight (which most airlines have now, since Southwest Airlines is switching to assigned seating), you NEED to stick to the seat you were assigned. If the boarding door has closed and you notice an empty seat on the plane you’d like to switch to, ask the Flight Attendant — don’t just run there yourself! If someone attempts to fool you on your flight and is sitting in your seat, stay polite, but don’t hesitate to ask a Flight Attendant for assistance. Do what’s best for you in the situation, especially considering this is someone you’ll be sitting next to during the flight (although if the interaction isn’t going well, a Flight Attendant may see if they can move you to a different seat), but do not feel pressured into giving in to the Seat Squatter. You bought your seat and have the boarding pass to prove it, so you should be able to sit in your seat!

When you’re flying, it’s important to remember that everyone else is in the same situation as you — you’re all getting onto the plane to fly in the sky in mostly cramped conditions for the next few hours, then will all file off, collect your bags, and head on your way. Travel is stressful for everyone, but that doesn’t mean common courtesy should go out the window. Whether it’s Gate Lice, Seat Squatters, or Aisle Lice, you won’t gain anything from this behavior — take a breath, remember that waiting your turn is the way the world works (that rule applies to EVERYONE), and resist the urge to be someone who makes everyone else’s travel day harder.

If you’re looking for a travel agent to help with your vacation, we recommend our friends at Mouse Fan Travel. They’re experts in the field with over 20 years of vacation planning experience, and they can help take a bunch of the stress out of the entire booking process for you!

Be sure to stay tuned to AllEars for all the latest air travel news so you feel prepared for your next flight.

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Have you ever experienced any of these while flying? Tell us in the comments!

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