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More Idle Thoughts from a WDW Vacation
by Jack Marshall, ALL EARS® Guest Columnist
This article appeared in the March 22, 2005, Issue #287 of ALL EARS® (ISSN: 1533-0753)
Everyone has idle thoughts. Those are the ones that come to you at the strangest times and places quite randomly and unexpectedly. Mine often come in the form of questions. These are more of the idle thoughts that came to me as I last visited Walt Disney World.
--Have you ever wondered what it is that allows the parking lot trams to make that U-turn in the parking lot and every single car in the tram will turn at the exact same point? Where's Bill Nye the Science Guy when you need him?
--Shouldn't the Galaxy Theater in Tomorrowland be used for something worthwhile now and then? An occasional Buzz and Woody meet and greet seems like such a waste.
--Does anyone besides me feel that Astro Orbiter is nothing more than a run-of-the-mill carnival ride clone?
--Isn't it way past time for some kind of Magic Kingdom attraction based on the original Mickey Mouse Club? After all, that was the first exposure a great many of us had to Disney. Bonus Points Question: Can you name the special activities that occurred each day on the original Mickey Mouse Club Show? (Answer at the end of this article.)
--If Animal Kingdom was a freestanding park somewhere in middle America instead of at WDW, do you think it could survive for long?
--And what's not to like about Animal Kingdom? There's no boat service, no monorail, the parking lots are in Alabama and the bus stops are in Georgia (or so it seems) and worst of all, there's little shade and less air conditioning. Did I miss anything?
--Were you like me and imagined MouseFest as being like Woodstock for Disneyholics?
--If Disney has to charge $7.49 for a cheeseburger and fries in the parks, don't you think it's time they find a new beef provider?
--Do you have more faith in the Tips Boards in the parks that display the current ride wait times electronically than those that have them written on a chalk board? And if you do, why?
--C'mon, admit it. Doesn't that sculpture atop the Dolphin Hotel look more like Charlie Tuna than any bottlenose you've ever seen?
--Have you ever been so tired from walking all day in the hot Florida sun that Universe of Energy seemed like a thrill ride?
--And while we're on Universe of Energy, raise your hand if you sit all the way in the back of the pre-show just so you can sit down on the floor despite the CM's admonition to "please remain standing during the pre-show."
--Speaking of the hot sun, now aren't you glad that WDW has attractions like the Hall of Presidents and American Adventure?
--Does anyone else feel foolish standing with your head and hands in the stocks in Liberty Square waiting to have a picture snapped while people are walking by staring at you?
--Just once, wouldn't you like to see some white water on the raft ride to Tom Sawyer's Island?
--Why do they still call it the Transportation and Ticket Center when it isn't either anymore?
--How come so many parents are named "Dad" or "Mom" and how many times have you turned around when you heard a kid say it before you realized it wasn't your kid?
--Doesn't it cross the fine line between planning and obsession when you schedule out your day in the parks to the minute? Can you say "commando"?
--Are you ever tempted like I am to take all the clean, still neatly folded, obviously unused pool towels off the unused pool chairs at 2 in the afternoon and throw them in the dirty towel box?
--What is it about Disney World that makes people think the rules are different there for them than they are for everyone else?
--Okay, truth time. When is the last time (if you can remember) that you've actually sat all the way through the Tiki Birds show? You people leaving during the show and opening up the exit door are ruining my catnap.
--Are you like me and always seem to choose the absolute s-l-o-w-e-s-t line when you pick a park turnstile? And even if you move to another line that is moving, that new line suddenly slows to a crawl?
--Should we tell Disney that if they add one more Pooh *anything* that the inmates will riot?
--The Main Street Railroad doesn't stop in Tomorrowland. But if they did, would they have to pay Steven Spielberg royalties to come "back to the future" on every successive stop there?
--Does anyone else picture Guest Services as something that should be at the Car Care Center and Guest Relations as something between consenting adults?
--If you really want a job with job security, get hired to cut the grass at Disney.
--When was the last time that you brightened up someone's day at WDW by doing something as simple as asking a wheelchair bound guest how their park visit was going?
--Anyone else for keeping those Eat to the Beat oldies concerts year 'round?
--Do any non-golfers ever go to the golf courses just to eat in the restaurants?
--Have I been watching too much wrestling on TV or has anyone else ever envisioned putting all the WDW guidebook authors in a steel cage and seeing which one would emerge?
--Am I the only person who thinks that Disney should expand Figment's visibility to all the other parks? Figment on safari, Figment on Tower of Terror, Figment on Splash Mountain -- the possibilities are endless. Pooh can do it, why not Figment?
--Do you qualify as Disney obsessed if you read some misinformation in a newspaper travel article about Disney and you jump up and shout, "No, that's wrong"?
--Is the seasonal closing of Epcot's Wonders of Life pavilion Disney's way of saying that eating healthy isn't all that it's cracked up to be?
--Do you wish that this was the last question? Well it is...for now.
Answer to Mickey Mouse Club Bonus Points Question:
Monday - Fun with Music Day
Tuesday - Guest Star Day
Wednesday - Anything Can Happen Day
Thursday - Circus Day
Friday - Talent Round-Up Day
Jack Marshall, the "Keeper of the ALL EARS(R) Archives and Tips Database," is a strong behind-the-scenes presence at Allears.net, but he occasionally steps onstage to share his thoughts. You can read more reflections from Jack at http://allears.net/ae/issue257.htm.
Editor's Note: This story/information was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all current rates, information and other details before planning your trip.