The Big Picture: A Closer Look

by Joshua Olive
AllEars® Guest Columnist

Feature Article

This article appeared in the January 12, 2016 Issue #851 of ALL EARS® (ISSN: 1533-0753)

Editor's Note: This story/information was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all current rates, information and other details before planning your trip.

Josh OliveHappy 2016!

It's been a little while since my last Walt Disney World "Big Picture" update, so I wanted to take a minute to let those who are built on a bigger scale than the average visitor know how things are shaping up at WDW these days. As a reminder, I'm writing from my own personal perspective as a big guy — 6' 6" and 400 pounds.

The first big news: Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. These seats are not made for comfort. Even the smaller adult members of my family (5' 3", 125 lbs) feel as though the hard molded bucket seats on this attraction are a bit tight. Then there are the safety bars. The safety bar configuration on this attraction is virtually identical to that of Disneyland's version of Space Mountain, featuring an upside-down U-shaped safety bar for each side-by-side seat. In a first for me at WDW, I had several folks tell me that I shouldn't even try to get on this attraction. It took me a while to do it — booking a Fast Pass+ was a challenge, and the last thing I wanted to do was stand in line for an hour or more, only to find out that I couldn't ride. Since I was finally able to book a FP+ for it, I decided to give it a try. The Cast Member at the front of the FP entry line was skeptical that I'd fit, but I proceeded anyway.

The good news is that I was able to get into the ride vehicle. Since they put me in a row by myself, sitting in the right side seat, I'll admit that I tried to cheat and put my left leg under the safety bar for the left seat. No dice. Just like on Disneyland's Space Mountain, both knees must go inside one safety bar. I managed to get both knees inside one bar, barely. The Cast Member at the loading area said that if the bar moves at all, I'd be good to ride; then she wrenched on the bar, hard. It moved. Ouch.

I'm glad I got to experience this attraction — the audio-animatronics of the Seven Dwarfs in the slow, mine section of the ride were spectacular. The fast moving portions of the ride, with all their twisting and turning (surprisingly smooth, by the way), would have been fun, I think, had I not been in such discomfort. The bruises on the outside of both my knees from the safety bar lasted more than a week.

So, long story short, I was able to experience this attraction, and I'm glad I was, but I don't know that I'll be trying that again. Other people of size may have a better time of it, if they don't have the same height issues I have. I would encourage anyone to try it at least once! Note to Disney Operations: like you have at Expedition Everest, it would be useful to have a mine car somewhere outside the attraction so people with questions about whether they will fit can try it out without having to wait in a long line.

Next up: Pirates of the Caribbean. Pirates just returned to the Magic Kingdom lineup after a refurbishment. They made some substantive changes to the ride, most of them for the better, but not all. They extended a walkway on the left side of the ride that goes a long, long way into the opening cave scene. That really breaks the immersion of the cave and takes away the impression that you are traversing some place dark and mysterious. Now the guide rails for the boats are clearly visible, and the water level on the outside of the guide rails is noticeably lower than the canal through which the boat travels. There's probably an operational purpose behind this change, and the canal was certainly smoother than it has been in the past, but it does nothing for the atmosphere of the experience.

The newly added underwater mermaid effect from a few years ago seems to have been removed, which is a positive for me. The effect was so inconsistent that it was more of a distraction than an addition. The mermaid skeleton in the wrecked dinghy is still pulled up onto the beach with the pirate skeletons, so that element from the movies is still easily found within the ride.

The canal modifications at the beginning of the ride aren't the only ones they made during this long refurbishment. They also made some adjustments to the waterfall drop canal. Those changes made the drop a little smoother, but… I am in no way exaggerating when I say that we got absolutely soaked at the bottom of the drop. I have never gotten that drenched on Splash Mountain.

Now, because of my height, I have to sit in the front row of the Pirates bateaux for the sake of my knees, and I'm a heavy guy. Putting that weight in the front of the boat is going to increase the splash effect to some extent, I know, but I cannot overemphasize how completely and utterly soaked I got on this ride. I'm used to a little splash on this ride, but nothing like this. My brother just went to WDW over Thanksgiving week, and he confirmed the high soak factor is an ongoing issue — he reported one case of Disney providing a new wardrobe to a young lady who was not expecting (or dressed for) that level of splash/soak on Pirates. Beware, mateys!

On the whole, the audio-animatronics appear to have received a lot of TLC. They all look fresh and were working beautifully. Granted, I didn't really notice some of them in the battle scene right after the drop, what with the boatful of water and all, but the ones I did see looked spectacular.

When we exited the ride, the moving ramp (now missing the peg leg footprints!) was running with water, so it's clear that my party was not the only one who got more water over the bow than they were expecting. Hopefully this is not a permanent thing on the ride and the Imagineers will be able to dial back the magnitude of that splashdown.

Outside the parks: The Polynesian Village Resort. Trader Sam's Grog Grotto is a new venue at the Polynesian that just opened this past April. It is a very, very interesting place, with all kinds of unique effects in this highly interactive room. The inspired drink menu features some really fun offerings, and many of those specialty drinks, when ordered, cause either the serving staff or the room itself (or both) to go into action. I don't want to spoil any of that here — you should definitely experience it for yourself! — but there is one element of Trader Sam's that may catch you off guard that may be beneficial to know beforehand. The central seating area in the room is a large surfboard acting as a table. It's a nice touch. As you'll find in many bars, it's a high table, so the stools around it are also tall. Unlike at most tall tables, the stools are bolted to the floor and cannot move. They're a bit tall, and there is no good place to put your feet. I thought it was a strange design choice, but it turns out there's a reason for it. Spoiler Warning: At least two of the seats at the table (I suspect more) can be raised and lowered at the Cast Members' discretion. The effect is subtle — you won't notice that your seat is significantly lower than everyone else's until it IS significantly lower than everyone else's. If you've already tried a drink or two, this could be really disconcerting.

On this trip, since we were spending time at the Polynesian, my wife and I opted to try out The Spirit of Aloha Luau. Despite having read several less-than-stellar reviews of this event, we really enjoyed it. The food, while not spectacular, was very good — the ribs were a particular hit. And while the story around the dance exhibition is cheesy, the dancing is fantastic, and the fire-dancer is nothing less than incredible. The only negative to the experience — and the reason for including this note in our Big Picture article — was the extraordinarily low chairs. For anyone who is particularly tall or who has knee issues, these seats may pose an issue.

As always, Walt Disney World remains a very accessible vacation destination, and you will find that the Cast Members are highly accommodating, but it's always good to know what to expect!

= = = = = = = = = = = = =
RELATED LINKS
= = = = = = = = = = = = =

The Big Picture Goes West

The Big Picture Goes to Sea

Other "Big Picture" features by Josh Olive

Walt Disney World At Large

Walt Disney World Attraction Seating Photo Gallery

Disneyland Attraction Seating Photo Gallery

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Guest Columnist Joshua Olive, 41, is 6 feet 6 inches tall and hovers around the 400-pound mark. He's been a BIG fan of Walt Disney World since his first visit in 1979 and he just keeps on coming back. A proposal writer for a government contractor by day, Josh is a musician, an actor, a photographer, and a comic book store owner the rest of the time. He served as a peer reviewer for PassPorter's Open Mouse, a Disney guidebook for people with any type of special needs, written by AllEars.Net's Deb Wills and Debra Martin Koma.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Editor's Note: This story/information was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all current rates, information and other details before planning your trip.