Newbie and the Geek Take Walt Disney World

Yoli is going to Walt Disney World for the very first time and she has it made. How? Why? What do you mean? The answer consists of 5 words that when placed in a particular order make a huge difference in one’s total vacation experience, Disney geek personal tour guide. That’s right, I’m going too. You see, Yoli is one of my very best friends (awww) and she happens to reside in California. When I lived out there, I turned her and others into repetitive Disneyland Annual Passholders without a single thank you note from Mickey or accounting. It is because Disneyland sits in Californians’ backyard that they don’t generally venture to Walt Disney World.

I have been telling Yoli and the rest of my CA posse that eventually I would show them…the other parks. Last year I got tired of waiting so I put my foot down and sent out an e-mail that said, we’re going to Walt Disney World in 2013 so start saving. I caught one fish, a wiggly Mexicana addicted to popcorn who quotes Grease and Spaceballs and breaks into Menudo songs and dance routines out of thin air. We were born to be buddies.

We are in the beginning stages of trip planning with me leading the way, as expected. Our vacation days have been approved at our jobs. I purchased my airfare on sale from JetBlue and am checking prices and flights for Yoli almost nightly. Remember how I said Californians don’t often go to Florida? The proof is in the flight schedules and dollars. Currently there are numerous incomprehensible flight plans. Raise your hand if you’d like to fly from Los Angeles (or Santa Ana or Long Beach) to Orlando by way of Minneapolis, New York, Chicago, or Seattle. Did I mention we’re going in January. What? No one thinks those are good routes?! Shocking! As for red eye flights, if memory serves me right, I have found 3 non-stop options starting at $260 one way. The search for a deal continues.

Once she has her plane tickets purchased, I can begin prepping her for what to expect. But why train a Disneyland veteran for Walt Disney World? Simply put, she’s had it easy. The distance between Disneyland’s gate and California Adventure’s gate is about the same distance as walking from one end of World of Disney (Florida) to the other. Florida’s parks are larger with rougher terrain, torrential downpours, humidity, warmer nights than CA, colder winter temperatures than she’s accustomed, and an immensely larger percentage of tourists vs locals. I think she’ll be alright, she served in the Army Reserves.

Yoli’s told me she trusts me to do all of the planning. Well, duh. (snicker, snicker) I am collecting information from her little by little which will lead me to determine where we’ll eat; the popcorn cart. the peanut butter and jelly sandwich cart, and the cookie cart. Once discount rates are announced, my friend (I have more than just Yoli) and MEI travel agent, John Ames, will book our resort. Yes, I know where I want us to stay and Yoli has seen photos but she’s probably forgotten by now so don’t say anything because we can’t afford the Polynesian and will wind up elsewhere.

Part of Yoli’s responsibility (She’s gotta do something!) is to look over the maps I sent her and to watch the free planning DVD that I’ll get out to her next month after I watch it a dozen times. Sure, I can lead her all over the parks but what if I bypass Mission: Space because I’m a wimp and she’s just loca enough to try it. Then I’m a bad tour guide and a crappy friend. I can’t handle the self-inflicted guilt, I’m Jewish. Hence, she will have to do some reading and video watching. Oh, I know, I’ll send a bag of microwave popcorn with the DVD!

Keep an eye out for future installments of How to Train Your Yoli, Some like it Humid, Invasion of the Disneyland Veteran, Newbie and the Geek Take Walt Disney World. It’s a mesh of The Muppets and triple threat dinnerware.

Get off your butt, Gonzalez!

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